Splash’s review of the first quarter of the 2019 NFL season

Football is weird.

We are 64 games into the season: exactly 25% of the way through the regular season.

After one month, about half the teams are right where they started: at .500. The NFC has been a bloodbath. The AFC appears to be a two-horse race between the Patriots and Chiefs.

Quarterbacks have fluctuated widely as the likes of Dak Prescott and Lamar Jackson lit up Week 1, but both have trended down. Injuries have piled up for signal callers across the league as playoff-hopeful teams in New York, Pittsburgh, Carolina, and New Orleans have had their quarterbacks fall to injuries and sickness.

Here is the current playoff picture:


#1 Kansas City (4-0)
#2 New England (4-0)
#3 Houston (2-2)
#4 Cleveland (2-2)
#5 Buffalo (3-1)
#6 Oakland (2-2)


#1 San Francisco (3-0)
#2 New Orleans (3-1)
#3 Green Bay (3-1)
#4 Dallas (3-1)
#5 Seattle (4-1)
#6 Chicago (3-1)

I will do a more in-depth dive when the halfway mark of the season rolls around, but here are my initial thoughts on each team, shortened into my trademark random sentence (or two) of messy analysis.

AFC, welcome to the execution room.

AFC East:

New England Patriots (4-0)

In a plot twist of all plot twists, the Patriots are still good at football. Ring No. 7 might be in the future.

Buffalo Bills (3-1)

The Bills have lots of winnable games left on their schedule, and they could glide into a wild card berth.

New York Jets (0-3)

This team is sickly.

Miami Dolphins (0-4)

This team no longer qualifies as a team. They are merely a collection of adults who meet on Sundays.

AFC North:

Cleveland Browns (2-2)

The off-season champions are on pace to win the AFC North.

Baltimore Ravens (2-2)

Lamar Jackson is good, and the defense is bad. No, that is not a typo.

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-3)

Without Ben Roethlisberger, the road ahead is steep, but they trail the Browns and Ravens. Playoffs?

Cincinnati Bengals (0-4)

The Bengals are on pace to never win another playoff game.

AFC South:

Houston Texans (2-2)

Wil Lutz qualifies as a curse word in Houston.

Indianapolis Colts (2-2)

No Andrew Luck, no problem? Yes, there is a problem.

Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2)

Gardner Minshew is the GOAT.

Tennessee Titans (2-2)

The Titans have been 9-7 for three straight seasons. 9-7 might just be good enough this season.

AFC West:

Most people thought Kansas City and a California team would make the playoffs. They aren’t wrong yet.

Kansas City Chiefs (4-0)

This Patrick Mahomes dude is good at football.

Oakland Raiders (2-2)

The hot start might not continue, but the Raiders are currently a playoff team.

Los Angeles Chargers (2-2)

Melvin Gordon is not the best running back on the team, but the Chargers will pretend like he is.

Denver Broncos (0-4)

The Broncos are massively unlucky to be 0-4.

NFC East:

Dallas Cowboys (3-1)

The Cowboys are very good. Their opponents have been pretty bad.

Philadelphia Eagles (2-2)

After losing the receiving corps to the injury tent against Atlanta, the makeshift band of Eagles still have their eyes on the playoffs.

New York Giants (2-2)

You can make a religion out of this.

Washington Redskins (0-4)

The Church of Haskins is not yet in session. It is Colt McCoy time in Landover.

NFC North:

Green Bay Packers (3-1)

The Packers have stopped everyone besides Jordan Howard.

Chicago Bears (3-1)

The Bears have stopped everyone besides Mitch Trubisky. He stopped himself.

Detroit Lions (2-1-1)

The Lions could have been the No. 2 seed in the NFC, but they fumbled it away.

Minnesota Vikings (2-2)

Only Kirk Cousins can stop you.

NFC South:

New Orleans Saints (3-1)

The Saints have a better record with Teddy Bridgewater than with Drew Brees.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-2)

Shaq Barrett is good at football.

Carolina Panthers (2-2)

Kyle Allen is 2-0 as a starter, but it is because of Christian McCaffrey and the defense.

Atlanta Falcons (1-3)

The Falcons have suddenly forgotten how to play football.

NFC West:

San Francisco 49ers (3-0)

The NFC’s only undefeated team has a defense that is humming.

Seattle Seahawks (4-1)

Russell Wilson gives this team a chance at the Super Bowl.

Los Angeles Rams (3-2)

Is Todd Gurley okay?

Arizona Cardinals (0-3-1)

A tie will separate the Cardinals from the No. 1 draft pick.

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