Splash’s Week 10 in Review

Boys and girls, this is not a drill.

Week 10 taught us a variety of valuable lessons. No team is unbeatable, even if you are San Francisco. The Bengals are still atrocious. Week 10 had some incredible upsets, and the playoff races are heating up!

Here is one major headline for all 32 teams after 10 weeks of action.

Bye weeks: New England Patriots, Jacksonville Jaguars, Houston Texans, Denver Broncos, Philadelphia Eagles, Washington Redskins

Patriots: Business as usual. We still control home-field advantage throughout the AFC playoffs.

Jaguars: Nick Foles, welcome back!

Texans: Did you know that Deshaun Watson is the second coming of Jesus?

Broncos: I guess we still support Brandon Allen.

Eagles: Hello Dallas, it is nice of you to join us at 5-4.

Redskins: We did not lose to the bye week!

Raiders 26, Chargers 24

Raiders: We are tied for a playoff spot in Week 10. What is this? 2002?

Chargers: For approximately the 50th consecutive season, we have dramatically underachieved based on our perceived talent level.

Bears 20, Lions 13

Fantasy owners: Stafford is hurt?

Lions: Yes.

Bears: Easy win.

Jeff Driskel: Eh, not so fast.

Bears: Playoffs, here we come!

Reality: LOL.

Ravens 49, Bengals 13

Ravens: Here is a traditional seven-course meal of Bengal.

Mark Andrews: Here is course one: appetizer by a tight end.

Mark Ingram: Here is course two: heavily beaten Bengal.

Andrews: Here is course three: a slightly larger portion of course one.

Marcus Peters: Here is course four: a spicy variant of a pickled six.

Lamar Jackson: Here is course five: it is a whirl of flavor.

Marquise Brown: Here is course six: I jumped high in the air to grasp this flavor.

Tyus Bowser: For dessert, you get a 36-point walloping at home.

Ryan Finley: I am ready to order.

Browns 19, Bills 16

Browns: We won a game!

Baker Mayfield: I am dangerous again.

Bills: We need a kicker.

Bills critics: You need a quarterback.

Titans 35, Chiefs 32

Patrick Mahomes: What’s up everyone? I am back. Bow down to my greatness.

Ryan Tannehill: Your what?

Mahomes: My greatness.

Tannehill: Oh, I missed the memo. Nice loss.

Falcons 26, Saints 9

Falcons fans: We have a pass rush?

Saints fans: The Falcons have a pass rush?

NFL fans: The Falcons have a pass rush?

Survivor pool players: The Falcons have a pass rush?

Vegas: The Falcons have a pass rush?

The world: The Falcons have a pass rush?

Jets 34, Giants 27

Jets: Sam Darnold is back, folks.

Giants: Daniel Jones is legit!

Fantasy owners: I had one fewer yard than Saquon Barkley despite having 13 fewer carries.

Buccaneers 30, Cardinals 27

Christian Kirk: Hello world!

Kirk: My name is Christian Kirk.

Kirk: I scored three touchdowns today.

Jameis Winston: Did you eat a W though?

Dolphins 16, Colts 12

Dolphins: We are winning?!

Colts: We lost to the Dolphins?!


Packers 24, Panthers 16

Lambeau Field: Welcome to real football, ladies and gentleman.

Packers: Aaron Jones should be in the MVP race.

Panthers: Christian McCaffrey should be the MVP.

Packers: Well, he came up one inch short today.

Steelers 17, Rams 12

Minkah Fitzpatrick: I might be the best safety in the NFL.

Cooper Kupp: Did you guys forget about me?

Steelers: We have won four in a row!

Sean McVay: And I thought the Super Bowl was bad.

Vikings 28, Cowboys 24

Vikings: Kirk Cousins won a primetime game!

Cousins’s detractors: It was indoors.

NFL fans: The Cowboys suck.

Dak Prescott: Hey, at least I do not suck.

Seahawks 27, 49ers 24

49ers: 10-0 lead!

Seahawks: 21-10 lead!

49ers: Tie game!

Seahawks: No!

49ers: Yes!

Russell Wilson: Here is a free win, San Francisco.

Chase McLaughlin: I’m going to try a trick shot. This field goal will go into the tunnel.

People with common sense: How did he kick it into the tunnel?

Jason Myers: I have redeemed myself!

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