Splash’s Final Regular Season Power Rankings

While most power rankings will fluctuate wildly, these should stay reasonably similar on a week-to-week basis.

Number 32: Carolina Panthers (ELO: 1157, -2)

The Panthers are hot trash.

Number 31: Detroit Lions (ELO: 1167, +0)

The Lions are only slightly better than the Panthers.

Number 30: Cincinnati Bengals (ELO: 1210, +2)

After beating the Browns, the Bengals deserve to move up because the Panthers and Lions resemble hot trash.

Number 29: New York Giants (ELO: 1246, -3)

In Week 17, the Giants had a fitting collapse against the Eagles, allowing the Eagles to score the last 17 points of the game and relinquishing the NFC East Crown to the Eagles. The Giants have high hopes for 2020 with a new coach, Daniel Jones, and Saquon Barkley.

Number 28: Washington Redskins (ELO: 1252, -1)

The Redskins were demolished by the Cowboys. There is nothing new to report. At least Bruce Allen is gone.

Number 27: Cleveland Browns (ELO: 1255, -2)

The Browns are a joke of a franchise. We already knew this.

Number 26: Jacksonville Jaguars (ELO: 1320, +2)

The Jaguars came out of their zombie state to crush the Colts with a 25-point run in the last 31 minutes of the game. The Jaguars have quite the quarterback controversy at hand with highly-paid Nick Foles, Gardner Minshew, and a pair of first-round draft picks that could be used to trade up for a quarterback.

Number 25: Miami Dolphins (ELO: 1322, +4)

In traditional Dolphin style, Miami beat the Patriots. The Dolphins won in Foxborough for the first time since 2008, a game that had the notable exception of not having Tom Brady playing in it. The Dolphins delivered Brady’s second loss in Foxboro to the Dolphins. Brian Flores looks like a really good coach.

Number 24: Los Angeles Chargers (ELO: 1323, -4)

Despite finishing six games below .500, the Chargers have a point differential that is emblematic of an 8-8 team. This Chargers team is as wacky as they come in terms of losing one-possession games.

Number 23: Pittsburgh Steelers (ELO: 1335, -2)

The Pittsburgh offense is so anemic that the word anemic is offended by its usage.

Number 22: Oakland Raiders (ELO: 1341, +1)

The Raiders narrowly missed out on an eight-win campaign as they fell in the dying seconds to the Broncos. After a good start, the Raiders fell apart, finishing 7-9. Hopes are high for next year as the Raiders move to Las Vegas.

Number 21: Arizona Cardinals (ELO: 1378, +1)

The Cardinals move up in the rankings despite their sixth consecutive loss to the Rams. Kyler Murray and co. should have high hopes for 2020, but they need an offensive line.

Number 20: Indianapolis Colts (ELO: 1412, -2)

It really would be nice if the Colts had a quarterback.

Number 19: New York Jets (ELO: 1424, +2)

The Jets finished with a positive record with Sam Darnold at the helm. If you put things into perspective, the Jets could’ve been a playoff spot if Darnold didn’t get mono.

Number 18: Chicago Bears (ELO: 1471, +1)

The Bears completed their second consecutive sweep of the Vikings, and the Bears will be without their first-round pick. Khalil Mack looks really good right now sitting on a couch.

Number 17: Denver Broncos (ELO: 1473, -1)

The Broncos have won four out of five games under the guidance of Drew Lock. While Lock has had his ups and downs as a rookie in the NFL, the Broncos could be in the hunt for a wildcard berth next year as Kansas City continues to rule division with Patrick Mahomes.

Number 16: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (ELO: 1499, -3)

Despite the loss, the Buccaneers looked questionably good and questionably bad at the same time. Due to the enigma of Jameis Winston, the Buccaneers have an incredibly high ceiling and a bottomless pit as a floor. Winston threw 30 touchdowns and 30 picks.

Number 15: Atlanta Falcons (ELO: 1504, +2)

The Falcons pulled four consecutive wins out of thin air to magically finish at 7-9. If the Falcons had just played better in the first three months of the season, I’d likely be telling you why they could win the Super Bowl.

Number 14: Los Angeles Rams (ELO: 1562, +1)

The Rams ended their season with the obligatory sleep at the Cardinals. Congrats.

Number 13: Dallas Cowboys (ELO: 1580, +1)

Despite hanging approximately seven million points on the Redskins, the Cowboys still came up short in the race for the NFC East. Reports have surfaced of the Cowboys firing their entire coaching staff, but they need to hire a new kicking coach.

Number 12: Philadelphia Eagles (ELO: 1600, +0)

The Eagles have found their way in the playoffs due to four consecutive wins, beating out the Cowboys by the slimmest of margins. The Eagles are not an easy out in the playoffs but do not be surprised if they are on the couch in a few days.

Number 11: Minnesota Vikings (ELO: 1619, -1)

After being one of the best teams up until recently, the Vikings have played below-average football over the last five weeks. While in large part due to the absence of Dalvin Cook, the Vikings have hit walls, and Kirk Cousins has turned into questionably bad Kirk Cousins. They will likely lose to the Saints next week.

Number 10: Seattle Seahawks (ELO: 1621, -1)

In an eerily similar vein to the Vikings, Seattle has been run over by a train in the last couple of weeks. After being the No. 1 seed through 15 weeks, the Seahawks lost back-to-back games against divisional foes and now have to travel to Philadelphia on Sunday.

Number 9: Tennessee Titans (ELO: 1626, +2)

One of the hottest teams in football, the Titans strike fear into the hearts of the other five playoff teams. Derrick Henry is playing as a man possessed, and Ryan Tannehill is playing like an actual quarterback for the first time in his career. Watch out.

Number 8: Buffalo Bills (ELO: 1628, +0)

Buffalo has a high-quality defense mixed with a questionably bad offense. If it sounds like the 2018 Bears, you are correct.

Number 7: Houston Texans (ELO: 1632, -1)

The Texans were crushed by the Titans on Sunday, but nothing mattered in terms of seeding, so the Texans stay put at the No. 4 seed. They might lose to the Bills on Saturday, though.

Number 6: New England Patriots (ELO: 1637, -1)

The Patriots have to play a wild card game for the first time since 2009. Despite the nearly impeccable playoff record of the Patriots, they have had zero success as a wild card. Under Brady, the Patriots have won just three games in three wild card trips to the playoffs. Two of those three wins came in 2006 when they beat the Jets and the Chargers.

Number 5: Green Bay Packers (ELO: 1652, +2)

The packers are probably the worst 13-3 team to ever exist. They will get obliterated by the Saints in two weeks. Cry me a river, Packers fans.

Number 4: San Francisco 49ers (ELO: 1869, +0)

One of the hottest bets to win the Super Bowl, the 49ers were able to secure the No. 1 seed in the NFC. While the defense has fallen off several cliffs in recent weeks, the offense is clicking on all cylinders. If the defense regains its form from the first half of 2019, the 49ers will win their sixth Super Bowl. If the defense continues to play like dog crap, the Niners will likely lose to the Seahawks in two weeks.

Number 3: Kansas City Chiefs (ELO: 1937, -1)

My pick to win the AFC, the Chiefs have been red hot in the last six games. After a heartbreaking loss to the Titans in Week 10, the Chiefs have been unstoppable on offense and defense.

Number 2: New Orleans Saints (ELO: 1958, +1)

My pick to win the NFC, the Saints have been electric this season. While they would likely have to go on the road for two playoff games, the Saints have won seven of their eight road games this season. Historically speaking, Drew Brees sucks on the road in the playoffs, but this Saints team is really good.

Number 1: Baltimore Ravens (ELO: 1990, +0)

As much as it pains me to say it, I think the Ravens will lose in three weeks to the Kansas City Chiefs. As great as the Ravens have been on offense and defense for most of the season, a certain ketchup-loving quarterback will likely spell disaster for Baltimore.

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