While most power rankings will fluctuate wildly, these should stay reasonably similar on a week-to-week basis.
Number 32: Cincinnati Bengals (ELO: 1228, -1)
In a shocking turn of events, the Dolphins achieved “relative competence” on Monday night. On the other hand, the Bengals will likely lose to their bye week.
Number 31: Miami Dolphins (ELO: 1229, +1)
In almost every other season, the Dolphins would be considered far and away the worst team in the NFL. However, the Bengals, Falcons, and Redskins are giving the Dolphins more competition than a free market economy.
Number 30: Atlanta Falcons (ELO: 1233, +0)
Inanimate objects could beat the Falcons. Outside of Austin Hooper and Julio Jones, there are no redeemable qualities for this catastrophe of a football team.
Number 29: Washington Redskins (ELO: 1287, +0)
Washington has kept it close against two of the better teams in the NFC over the last two weeks. The Trent Williams debacle is inexcusable, but at least the Nationals won the World Series.
Number 28: Denver Broncos (ELO: 1301, -3)
Delete the franchise, John Elway. Brandon Allen will be tossed to the menacing Myles Garrett on Sunday. Joe Flacco might have played his last down as a Bronco.
Number 27: New York Giants (ELO: 1303, +1)
In a couple of years, the Giants are going to be a good football team.
Number 26: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (ELO: 1310, +1)
They may or may not have been robbed last week, but the Buccaneers still turn the ball over far too often to be considered a decent team. This may be the end of the road for Jameis Winston.
Number 25: Arizona Cardinals (ELO: 1339, +1)
The Cardinals need to figure out how to score touchdowns, not field goals. They would be dangerous for once if they could score in sevens, not threes.
Number 24: New York Jets (ELO: 1383, -1)
Beyond this point, real football teams will be ranked. While I think the Jets are the best of this first group of teams, they still make the 0-16 Browns look competent.
Number 23: Oakland Raiders (ELO: 1428, -1)
Jon Gruden would be working wonders with this team if he had one more quality piece. Imagine if the Antonio Brown saga had ended with Brown playing games for the Raiders.
Number 22: Los Angeles Chargers (ELO: 1439, +2)
For all intents and purposes, the Chargers are dead. They are only two games back in the division, but this is a lifeless football team.
Number 21: Cleveland Browns (ELO: 1461, -4)
Freddie Kitchens might be even worse than Hue Jackson. The Browns are an undisciplined mess of a football team. They are slowly becoming healthier and Kareem Hunt should help, but they need a renovation at head coach.
Number 20: Tennessee Titans (ELO: 1466, +1)
Ryan Tannehill has breathed life into this Titans unit. They have a sturdy defense, and they can do enough offensively to win some games. They are lurking for an AFC South crown.
Number 19: Pittsburgh Steelers (ELO: 1483, +1)
After falling down 14-0 to the Dolphins, the Steelers looked like a good football team again, blitzing the Phins for a 27-0 run. Offensive injuries have depleted the Steelers, but the defense is one of the best in the NFL.
Number 18: Chicago Bears (ELO: 1498, -3)
Yes, I am well aware that if the Bears could make a field goal, they would be 4-3, but this Bears team sucks. Mitch Trubisky is hot garbage. Matt Nagy has running game amnesia. The defense is fed up. The Bears are a colossal disappointment.
Number 17: Buffalo Bills (ELO: 1500, -3)
I would like you to find an impressive win for Buffalo. Of their five wins, they have beaten a pair of winless teams, a 1-6 Jets team, a 2-6 Giants team, and a 4-4 Titans team that missed four field goals. The Bills will make the playoffs, but they have not shown that they can beat a team with any talent.
Number 16: Jacksonville Jaguars (ELO: 1501, +3)
The Jaguars are such a likable team. From Gardner Minshew to Josh Allen to the mascot, the Jaguars have some momentum on their side as they travel to their second home in London to play the Texans.
Number 15: Carolina Panthers (ELO: 1505, -3)
Kyle Allen is not the answer. That’s all the analysis I am going to give here.
Number 14: Detroit Lions (ELO: 1507, +4)
Despite a revolving door of running backs, the Lions have yet to be killed by a team. They will probably miss the playoffs, but they have some talent on the roster.
Number 13: Philadelphia Eagles (ELO: 1550, +3)
Miles Sanders had a great day against the Bills’ vaunted secondary, and the Eagles are still in a position to sneak into the playoffs.
Number 12: Kansas City Chiefs (ELO: 1553, +1)
Matt Moore proved that the Chiefs are a good football without Patrick Mahomes. While they are not elite without Mahomes, they should be kept afloat until the 2018 MVP returns.
Number 11: Dallas Cowboys (ELO: 1565, +0)
The acquisition of Jamal Adams would have put the Cowboys into the top 10, but Madden is only a video game, not real life.
Number 10: Houston Texans (ELO: 1582, +0)
The lure of Deshaun Watson continues to grow as he stunned the Raiders despite being hit in the eye by a rogue cleat. The Texans go abroad to take on the Jaguars next week.
Number 9: Indianapolis Colts (ELO: 1590, -1)
It took a miracle from Jacoby Brissett, but the Colts escaped the grasp of the Broncos. It was hardly a convincing win, but the Colts have proven they can win with defense.
Number 8: Los Angeles Rams (ELO: 1609, +1)
Cooper Kupp has been one of the best receivers in the NFL this season. When he is on the field, Jared Goff looks like a real quarterback.
Number 7: Seattle Seahawks (ELO: 1644, +0)
The score is misleading as the Seahawks only beat the Falcons by seven. In reality, the Seahawks dominated for much of the game, leading by two possessions until the final minutes.
Number 6: Minnesota Vikings (ELO: 1656, +0)
The Vikings did not look too dominant against a putrid Redskins team. The Vikings still need to beat a good team before I am willing to make any playoff predictions.
Number 5: Green Bay Packers (ELO: 1660, +0)
The Packers did win at Arrowhead, but it was a little too close for comfort. The once-mighty Packers defense let Matt Moore have his way. Yikes.
Number 4: Baltimore Ravens (ELO: 1665, +0)
The Ravens face their biggest test of the season as they welcome the Patriots to town. A win would be the biggest for the franchise in over half a decade.
Number 3: San Francisco 49ers (ELO: 1727, +0)
Nick Bosa and the 49ers took the souls out of the Panthers with a resounding 51-13 win. They have a short week to face the Cardinals, but they will get extra rest to square off with the Seahawks in Week 10.
Number 2: New Orleans Saints (ELO: 1901, +0)
Drew Brees is back. This team is scary good. At this point in the season, I would be shocked if it is not a Saints-Patriots Super Bowl.
Number 1: New England Patriots (ELO: 1917, +0)
The Saints have cut the deficit to just a few points, but the Patriots will face a halfway decent team for the first time in a long time. The Patriots still have room to move up.
