Welcome back to the futile exercise of ranking the 32 NFL teams. As always, these will be updated weekly, so be sure to watch out as teams move up and down. If teams continue to win, they will rise. If teams continue to lose, they will fall. Similarly, a loss does not necessarily equate to a team being ranked lower than their opponent. Upsets in the NFL do happen, so trends will usually be needed for a team to drop many slots.
Numbers in parentheses refer to last week’s rankings.
No.32: Detroit Lions (+0)
For what seems like the 100th consecutive Thanksgiving, the Lions lost. Jared Goff was surprisingly competent for one of the few times this season. On this week’s episode of “the Lions lose a heartbreaker,” one of the Lions’ defensive coaches called a timeout which resulted in an infraction. The Chicago Bears converted on the shorter third down, ran out the clock, and won their fourth game of the season.
No.31: Jacksonville Jaguars (-1)
The Jaguars seem to be going through the motions, not the direction a franchise needs to be going when they have a generational talent at the quarterback position. Trevor Lawrence had a couple of nice throws, but his performance was once again shaky even against an abysmal defense. For the sake of Lawrence, Urban Meyer needs to ditch town and return to college football as soon as possible.
No.30: Houston Texans (-2)
Ouch. After the Texans shocked the world in Nashville, they jumped out to a lead at home against the New York Jets. The Texans then proceeded to forget how to play football on either side. The Texans have a legendarily poor offense even with Tyrod Taylor at the helm. In 11 games this season, the Texans have gained 20 first downs just one time.
No.29: New York Jets (+2)
Congratulations to the Jets. Despite winning, a mammoth collapse in the Pacific Northwest continues to help out the Jets on the draft board. The Jets likely will have a pair of picks in the top six that they can use to build for the next rebuild when Zach Wilson and Robert Saleh fail to pan out. It could be worse though; the Jets do not employ Jamal Adams.
No.28: Atlanta Falcons (+1)
Perhaps the biggest issue with the NFL is the sluggish matchups that happen late in the season. While other games were exciting and meant something, Falcons-Jaguars was torture. Of the 272 games that will be played this season, few will mean less than this monstrosity. If the Motion Picture Association watched this game, they would rule it too disgusting for even an NC-17 audience. Matt Ryan was a disaster yet again.
No.27: Carolina Panthers (+0)
Cam Newton? He played more like his lesser-known cousin, Scam, on Sunday. Newton had a passer rating in the single digits, an extraordinary accomplishment in the modern NFL. He had one of the worst completion percentages in a game since 2000 even though teams were willingly employing quarterbacks such as Todd Collins and Tim Tebow. Newton was not the only former MVP and Heisman Trophy winner to stink up Sunday, but at least Lamar Jackson led his team to a victory.
No.26: Seattle Seahawks (-6)
Blow it up. This organization is toxic from top to bottom. Russell Wilson should be shipped in exchange for as much draft capital as humanly possible. Pete Carroll should be sent to the moon. The Seahawks are in the worst predicament of any team in the NFL with their inability to find talent, inability to cultivate talent if they find it, and inability to adjust to the modern NFL.
No.25: Chicago Bears (+0)
The Bears became the 11th participant in the “Free Win Sweepstakes” known as facing the Lions. With condolences to a certain black and gold brigade from Pennsylvania, the Bears understood the assignment and walked out with a victory. Andy Dalton was capable, but the Bears’ offense continued to be a slog. Despite three months of horrific football, the Bears are just one game out of a playoff spot with six games left.
No.24: New Orleans Saints (-3)
The Saints were one of the best teams in the NFL until Jameis Winston went down. Trevor Siemian played admirably in relief, leading the Saints to a win. Since then, the Saints have lost four in a row, spiraling out of the playoffs. While they are technically tied for a playoff spot (and play just two above .500 teams the rest of the way), do you trust Siemian (or Taysom Hill) to win those games?
No.23: Philadelphia Eagles (-6)
After appearing to find their groove, the Eagles laid an egg on Sunday. They had every chance (and then some) to knock off the next team in the power rankings, but Jalen Hurts offered it up for grabs. Much to the chagrin of Jalen Reagor, the Eagles’ opponents can catch footballs. For a team that was building something, this is one of the largest disappointments of the season. The Eagles are back outside of the playoffs.
No.22: New York Giants (+4)
Xavier McKinney and the Giants intercepted Hurts three times in one of their best defensive performances of the season. Daniel Jones was nothing special, but he did not lose the game for the Giants. Tossing Jason Garrett to the curb did not have an immediate impact, but the defense pulled the slack and nabbed a key division win. The Giants are just one game out of a playoff spot.
No.21: Washington Football Team (+3)
Believe it or not, this squad holds the No.7 seed in the NFC. Taylor Heinicke has the arm talent of prepackaged ramen, but he is the ultimate gamer. Monday night was no different as Heinicke maneuvered in the pocket and out-Wilsoned Wilson to a victory. The Football Team is limited, yes, but they play with more swagger than your favorite team.
No.20: Cleveland Browns (-1)
The defense played admirably while enduring the stench that was the rushing attack. Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt must have paid the media to hype them up because they did virtually nothing against a Calais Campbell-less Baltimore Ravens run defense. Baker Mayfield responded by turning into a vegetable, once fumbling the ball without being touched. At least when Jarvis Landry was under center, the fumble had to be forced.
No.19: Pittsburgh Steelers (-4)
Pittsburgh talk radio had a legendary Monday, Nov. 29. The “S-word” (soft, not the other one) was thrown around, and several callers reported that this was the worst loss they had experienced in decades. However, Mike Tomlin and his team are not quitters. Even down 31 with 19 seconds left, the Steelers were still trying to win the game by calling a timeout. I hope the extra 48 yards of offense on the drive were worth it.
No.18: Miami Dolphins (+5)
The Dolphins are suddenly the second-hottest team in the NFL, rattling off four wins in a row. Their competition has not been particularly stiff in three of those games, but they have won in dominating fashion. The defense is harkening back to 2020 form, and Tua Tagovailoa is playing well. Jaylen Waddle is chasing down Ja’Marr Chase for the title of best rookie wide receiver, but the Dolphins might be too far back to make an impact on the AFC playoff picture. Despite the four-game win streak, they are stuck in 13th place in the AFC.
No.17: Denver Broncos (+5)
When Vic Fangio wakes up on Sundays, he flips a coin. If it lands on heads, his team will be irrationally good. If it lands on tails, his team will be irrationally terrible. On Sunday, it landed on heads, and the Broncos had one of the most impressive wins of the season. Patrick Surtain hauled in a pair of interceptions, and the Broncos deserve the win just for putting up with what Drew Lock calls “quarterback play.” Anyone with eyes might prefer to poke them out than watch Lock.
No.16: Las Vegas Raiders (+2)
The Raiders reversed their three-game losing streak and took it to the Dallas Cowboys in Arlington on a short week. All told, The Raiders posted 509 yards with both Hunter Renfrow and DeSean Jackson going over 100 yards. Josh Jacobs tallied 112 scrimmage yards and a touchdown in the victory. The Raiders sit at 6-5 with the division still up for grabs.
No.15: Los Angeles Chargers (-1)
Justin Herbert has yet to figure out how to be a consistent NFL quarterback. The talent is there, but he continues to be a metronome of wildness. Beyond Herbert, the Chargers continue to be squishy against teams that care about running the football (like the Broncos). The Chargers are the most matchup-sensitive team in the NFL, but they have so many poor matchups, keeping them from being a top-tier team.
No.14: Minnesota Vikings (-2)
The Vikings were on a solid run of form, but much of the momentum was lost in Santa Clara. With an injury to Dalvin Cook, the Vikings do not have the upside that other teams in this area do. Kirk Cousins had an underwhelming performance for the first time all season, and the defense folded against a competent offense. Without a Kene Nwangwu kick return touchdown, there is doubt that the Vikings would have kept this game within one possession.
No.13: Indianapolis Colts (+0)
The Colts played a solid game, but they came up short in the dying seconds. Jonathan Taylor had another good performance even if his LaDainian Tomlinson streak ended at eight games. Carson Wentz continues to play good football, but the defense will need to take a step back up for the Colts to make a playoff push. On the bright side, many of the Colts’ auxiliary stars are playing well.
No.12: Dallas Cowboys (-2)
For the third time in four weeks, the Cowboys lost to an AFC West team. Unlike the first two games, the offense showed up on Thursday, but the defense forgot they were playing on Thanksgiving. The Cowboys did struggle to run the football, but the passing offense was rocking and rolling through the Raiders’ secondary. Both Michael Gallup and Cedrick Wilson went over 100 yards in the loss.
No.11: Los Angeles Rams (-3)
It took 11 games, but the Matthew Stafford memes are back. Can he beat a winning team? History says he cannot, but the Rams hope Stafford can reverse his history of failure. He has been one of the worst quarterbacks in the league for the last few weeks, and his inability to function hurts the offense. The defensive stars are reliable, but the offensive stars have not been.
No.10: Tennessee Titans (-3)
Without an 8-4 record, the Titans would likely be taking a nosedive in these power rankings. Ryan Tannehill has been poor since Derrick Henry went down. On Sunday, the Titans were snakebitten with fumbles as they accumulated 270 rushing yards but only scored 13 points. On defense, they compete, and they have a bevy of playmakers, but the offense has been disgusting since Henry got injured.
No.9: Baltimore Ravens (-4)
Much of the reasoning behind the Ravens being higher than most power rankings was the Jackson effect. After the atrocity on Sunday Night Football, Jackson’s fifth straight questionable performance, Jackson must be blamed, and the Ravens need to be knocked. The defense has replied in turn, but quarterback matters so much, and Jackson has been one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL since Week 6 began. In that period, Jackson is tied for last in PFF passing grade.
No.8: San Francisco 49ers (+8)
The 49ers function as an upgraded Eagles team. They have spectacular line play. Jimmy Garoppolo limits mistakes enough for the offense to be smooth. Elijah Mitchell is a stud running back. Both George Kittle and Brandon Aiyuk are playing at a high level. Deebo Samuel will be missed for the next few weeks, but the 49ers have a relatively easy schedule coming up. They should win at least four of their next five en route to a Week 18 showdown with the Rams.
No.7: Cincinnati Bengals (+4)
The bully was the one getting bullied on Sunday. The Bengals blasted the Steelers to a degree that few teams in NFL history have been able to boast. Joe Burrow was spectacular, and Joe Mixon asserted his dominance in the ground game. Trey Hendrickson appears to have higher sights than the Pro Bowl as he has a sack in each of the last seven games. This team is firing on all cylinders.
No.6: Buffalo Bills (+3)
Josh Allen did throw a pair of interceptions (including his first-ever red-zone interception), but the Bills wiped the floor with the Saints. However, the most important thing from Thursday night might be Tre’Davious White’s torn ACL. White is one of the NFL’s best cornerbacks, and he could be sorely missed. It may not matter until the playoffs, but the Bills lost some of their upside with White going down.
No.5: Kansas City Chiefs (+1)
With White, the Bills likely would have jumped the Chiefs, but the Chiefs used the opportunity to slip into the top five. Patrick Mahomes has not figured out the whole “being a good quarterback” thing in 2021, but the defense has answered. Chris Jones is back to being a superstar, so perhaps less pressure will enable Mahomes to scorch the earth and help the Chiefs back to another Super Bowl.
No.4: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+0)
The Buccaneers are leading the NFL in scoring, but it feels like they need another piece. Thankfully for them, they employ Antonio Brown who should be returning in the next week or two. Leonard Fournette had a massive day against the Colts, scoring four touchdowns, but the passing offense was not as fine-tuned as one would expect. Defensively, the Buccaneers have their fair share of issues, but they are getting healthier by the week.
No.3: New England Patriots (+0)
Outside of a dropped pick-six in the red zone, the Patriots were excellent for most of the day. While they could not stop the run, they were able to force turnovers and keep the Titans at bay for the most part. Mac Jones ended with a solid statistical day, but he should have thrown a pick-six. Either way, the Patriots own the No.2 seed in the AFC, and they will have the opportunity to put the AFC East in a stranglehold with a win in Orchard Park.
No.2: Green Bay Packers (+0)
Aaron Rodgers is beginning his quest for a fourth MVP. He had an exceptional day against the Rams even if he missed a couple of throws. Davante Adams dominated Jalen Ramsey in the handful of one-on-one reps, and the Packers are getting healthier. When David Bakhtiari and Jaire Alexander are activated, the Packers will jump to the top spot. This team is better than the last two teams, something special considering both of them went 13-3.
No.1: Arizona Cardinals (+0)
The Cardinals were on their bye week. Hopefully, Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins will return to action this week, but even if they do not, the Cardinals should have no problems in Chicago. The Cardinals could have a limited ceiling, but they have a (not-so) secret weapon in Murray. If there is any trump card in the NFL, he wears No.1 for the Cardinals.
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