I Said It 7-9-17: Ball, Bobby, and Bartolo
By Producer Alex
I’m back! Anyone? Anyone? Tough crowd…
- Lonzo Ball made his summer league debut Friday and went 2-15 from the field. Let’s start calling him Air-Ball and ruin all of his endorsements while there’s still time.
- It just came out that legendary basketball coach Bobby Knight was investigated for allegedly groping a few employees at a spy agency. I don’t even know what to say about this one — it sounds like a rejected James Bond script. But with a terrible villain. Bobby Knight? That’s all they came up with?
- I feel like Aaron Judge was that absurdly tall kid in the Little League World Series whose birth certificate just said, “I am 12.”
- Bartolo “Big Sexy” Colon just signed a minor-league deal with the Minnesota Twins. First of all, I feel like I’m legally obligated to note that Prime Time Sports does not condone, in any way, shape, or form, the nickname “Big Sexy.” Secondly, at least he’ll be able to keep paying child support for his two illegitimate children.
I hereby petition for Prime Time’s own Nathan Rollins to hereby be referred to exclusively as “Big Sexy.” That is all.